{Self Love} Weight Doesn’t Define You

When I was growing up my dad always told me “you do not have the right to make comments about a body that is not your own.” By telling me this he instilled in me the value of dignity and grace. Because of this lesson I just see people and not sizes. As long as you have a good heart, I don’t care what you look like.

We as women from the moment we are born society fills us with expectations. Most of these expectations are unattainable. Society tells us that thin = beauty. That we need the perfect hair, the perfect skin, the perfect body in order to be successful in life. Diet culture does more harm than good, it destroys a woman’s self love. If a woman doesn’t love herself, then she becomes the perfect consumer for the billion dollar health & wellness industry. If she doesn’t love herself, she will spend her life chasing after perfection instead of finding the beauty in her flaws.

Your life has been waiting for you and my friend it’s time to take it back. We are living in the movement of body positivity and self love. People are scared by the fact that we stepped off the never ending treadmill and found happiness within. They are scared because we found what they are searching for. Our weight doesn’t determine our worth. Our weight doesn’t determine our happiness. Our weight doesn’t determine our success. Our weight is just who we are and nothing more. You as a woman deserve to love yourself fully. Your body is amazing and it will carry you for all of your days.

I weigh 236 pounds. It took a lot of soul searching to accept and appreciate all 236 pounds of me. When I look in the mirror I no longer see flaws, fat rolls, or cellulite. I see a body whose scars, bruises and fine lines tell a story of a fight well fought. This body of mine carried me through trials and triumphs. This body of mine survived a massive pulmonary embolism and stroke. This body of mine fought undiagnosed endometriosis for decades. This body’s womb became a tomb three times over. This body of mine protected my sons until they took their last breaths, this body is all that they knew. And because she still holds out hope that she will get her rainbow baby, I will honor this body for all of my days. She is mine and I will always be hers.

The biggest lesson I learned is that you do not have to be ashamed of your pant size, fat bodies are normal, and that the number on the tag doesn’t define you. You are beautifully made. Doing an outdoor boudoir shoot (yes, I was half naked on a public beach) really helped me see just how beautiful I was. I cried at my reveal appointment and kept asking Alyssa “is that really me!?” With tear stained eyes she replied “yeeeesss GIRL!” On that day I walked out of her studio with a walnut box full of confidence, through her lens Alyssa reignited my light and I will never let it dim. Every day I remind myself of this:

“She is clothed with strength and dignity & She laughs without fear of the future.”

Proverbs 31:25
Photography by Illuminate Boudoir

She is clothed with strength and dignity allows me to handle haters with grace. If someone makes a comment about your body and your vibe, it just means that they don’t know any better. Or it means that they are hurting, we project into the world what we are feeling on the inside. Just think, millions of people believe in society’s lie, the lie that thin and only thin is beautiful. They feel threatened when they see beautiful fat bodies living their best lives. Folks waste their time and energy striving for unattainable ideals, instead of enjoying their body as is. That wasted time, is time that they will never get back. And there you are without a care in the world, living your best life in your bikini jamming out pool side while enjoying cocktails and apps. They want what you have, they want to love their body like we do. But, they do not know how to break societies chains. We’ve been where they are and we can light the way. It’s our job to help them break those chains and embrace themselves, the road to self acceptance is the best gift we can give a person.

-AJ

Published by NinjaInTheCity

AmandaJean is a thriving pulmonary embolism & stroke survivor, passionate Paralegal, Advocate, and Blogger who believes she can change the world one person at a time. She is obsessed with the Law, beauty subscription boxes, collecting costume jewelry, visiting flea markets, Ruby Red Squirt and Candy Corn. World Traveler. Serial Volunteer. Lover of Frank Lloyd Wright, Heart Healthy Living, and good wine. Mama to a Muppet like dog. Aunt to @HalfPintNinja

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