S4 Episode 6:

February 12, 2012 is forever engraved into my memory. I’ve tried to hold onto every precious detail of that day. Even the moments that I was short with you. That day February 12, 2012 was the last day I saw you alive. It was the last day that I got to spend with you.

It was a Sunday. A very lazy Sunday at that. You normally packed well in advance for your business trips and checked the contents of your messenger bag multiple times. However this trip was different for you, you didn’t want to go.

We woke up a few minutes before the sunrise and watched the city come to life. Charlie took a deep breath, his eyes memorizing every corner of the city as the rays washed away the shadows. You ran your fingers through my curls and pulled me into you, almost splashing my coffee onto the floor. You chuckled as I steadied myself, you spoke “AJ I love,” into the top of my head.

I freed myself from your grasp, walking to the kitchen to put on my apron and started making breakfast. I said “Charlie you need to get a move on, your bag isn’t going to pack itself. Did you double check your bag? Did all of the contracts download?” You brushed me off and continued to settle into the deep cushions of our couch as you scrolled the New York Times on the iPad. I looked up from the stove to catch you looking at me in gaze and you broke into a smile as you whispered “I love you.”

Breakfast is ready, I said. Instead of getting up, you motioned for me to join you. You set your cup on the table as you stretched your arm out to me. I fell for it, you pulled me onto you and nuzzled my head under your chin “I don’t want to go AJ. I want to stay here.” Charlie it’s only a few days, you will be back before you know it. This is your last business trip and then you’ll be stuck with me 24/7 365. Charlie squeezed me tighter as he said “Man, I can’t wait for that,” followed by “24/7 365 eh, you going to give up work and be a stay at home wife!?” Umm no, work is my escape from you sir, I need that escape. You blew a raspberry on my cheek and proceeded to tickle me until I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breath.

AJ do you know what my favorite thing about you is? Umm my eyes Charlie!? “No! I love that your laugh is bigger than your lung capacity.” We both burst out laughing until I looked at my phone, Charlie seriously you have to get moving. “Mouse if I miss this flight, I can catch another one.” I gave him the stare capable of making a grown man cry. He got up ate, triple checked his bag and got in the shower.

I pulled his suit case out from the hall closet and put it on the bed. When he got out of the shower he pushed it to the floor. “AJ he shouted, His shout startled me and I came running in thinking something was wrong. Nothing was wrong. Charlie laid on the bed laughing reaching his arm out to me. I again fell for it as he pulled me on to him. I laid next to him taking him in, committing every laugh line and his deep brown eyes to memory. As I brushed a few hairs out of his face he pulled me in and nuzzled me under his chin as he said “I love you” in Mohican. Charlie knew that even though I didn’t speak a word, his language Mohican calmed me. He lingered a bit longer and slowly got up to finish getting ready.

Cullen and I walked Charlie to the light rail station. He held my right hand the entire time and wouldn’t let go of it. We must have been a sight for sore eyes. As we waited on the platform you held me as tight as you possibly could. “It’s for warmth AJ.” I just winked at him, sure it is Charlie.” Cullen had settled at our feet and was startled by the bells of the train. He kissed me like he always did. But this time he studied me intently. With loving eyes he said “AJ you are so fucking beautiful, I found home in you and I cannot wait to live a life with you.” When he boarded he didn’t take a seat, he stood looking out the doors watching me until the platform was out of sight.

For some reason I remember the time, the time the train left the station. 1:30PM. Trains run every half hour on the weekends. The last time I saw Charlie alive was 1:30PM on February 12, 2012.

If only I had know that would be our last day, I would have done that day differently. I would have indulged his desire to be lazy and soaked in every drop of time.

Published by NinjaInTheCity

AmandaJean is a thriving pulmonary embolism & stroke survivor, passionate Paralegal, Advocate, and Blogger who believes she can change the world one person at a time. She is obsessed with the Law, beauty subscription boxes, collecting costume jewelry, visiting flea markets, Ruby Red Squirt and Candy Corn. World Traveler. Serial Volunteer. Lover of Frank Lloyd Wright, Heart Healthy Living, and good wine. Mama to a Muppet like dog. Aunt to @HalfPintNinja

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