Friendships are one of the best parts of life. Friends are family you choose to share special moments. However, not all friends are going to stick around for your funeral. There are definitely friends that come and go throughout your life.
Remember when you were young and making your first friends? I do. I had my best friend from my neighborhood. She lived across the street from me and we rode our bikes around, went to the beach, wandered around the neighborhood, played at each other’s houses. I’m not sure when it happened, but maybe when I was 6 or 7 her parents got divorced and she moved with her mom. She came to see her dad on the weekends, but our friendship quickly dissolved. She made new friends and we saw each other sometimes. Strangely enough we still keep in contact after all these years. I went to her first wedding, watched her twin daughters grow up on facebook and it took me a while to realize she got divorced and met someone new. She still posts random stuff on Facebook and tags me in it. Old pictures from our past.
We are 2 different people now.
I’ve had other best friends, the one in middle school, never kept in contact with her. The best friend in college, friends on facebook with, random friends throughout my twenties. The ones I call my “City friends”… never talk to them. I am lucky to have one best friend now that I do consider a sister. However, it’s never always been rosy.
We had a falling out and didn’t speak to each other for about a year or more. It took a long time to build up trust again, but both of us know we were in the wrong. I definitely missed her during that year and wish I could have done things differently so we didn’t lose so much time and trust in our friendship. These are a few things I have learned over the years about friendships for when things get rocky.
Oftentimes we are so caught up in our own lives we forget about the ones who are most important to us. We need to ask our friends how they are doing. Listen to them, ask questions, understand what is going on in their lives. Try on their shoes for a change and see things through their eyes.
Yes, it’s ok to make your best friend feel special. I am definitely not as good about this, but my BFF certainly knows when I need a pick me up. She has sent me snacks during quarantine with a little note that stated “friends don’t let friends go without snacks.”
Go on Trips
There is nothing better than a BFF road trip or camping trip. This helps especially if things are strained. Taking a trip gives you moments to remember the good times and talk through the issues that have occurred.
Pick Your Fights Wisely
I have had way too many fights with friends over things that didn’t matter 6 months down the road, but because I chose to pick that fight, I lost a friend for it.
Don’t Demand Anything
You should never expect an ultimatum from your friend. There are certain things you may just need to leave alone. You may need to give each other space to let the anger fizzle down before reconnecting.
Bite Your Tongue
I know sometimes those angry moments in the past creep up when we are the most upset. Do not say anything that you might regret later. If you ended up going too far in a conversation, apologize. It may be too late, but if it’s an honest apology then they may forgive you.
There are certainly going to be times when you come across a friend you aren’t sure is really a friend. We have another article discussing Toxic Friendships and Fake Friends that will be coming out soon.
If you love your friend and have a hard time picturing life without them then remember to have patience! Show them your appreciation!
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