Being single is waking up every morning with unlimited possibilities for the day. You can roll out of bed at noon or wake up at 6 am slamming the cupboard doors without worrying about anyone else but yourself. It’s the ability to be spontaneous and self-ish. It’s also the ability to be lazy and indulgent without judgement.
Women spend too much of their time searching for the right person, going down so many rabbit holes with men that just aren’t right for them. We get the idea that marriage is some kind of reward, but most of the time it’s a prison sentence. You think you found the right person or almost the right person, he just needs a few tweaks, right? You think your relationship now is the way it’ll always be, but forgetting that people change with time. They can grow and become a better or version of themselves or pretend they did.
Don’t get me wrong… some relationships are fantastic and grow with ease. Couples can be respectful of each other and encourage each other to be better people. It happens, but I don’t think it happens as often as we’d like to believe.
I have been single for so long and it took me a while to come to terms with …. Enjoying it. I like being single. I like getting good sleep at night and making plans that I can cancel. I like choosing to not do things that I do NOT want to do. I have the ability to do that. I don’t have to bite my tongue to make someone else happy.
Don’t tell me you married people don’t do that? I’ve seen you do it. I’ve heard you complain about it… and I’ve rolled my eyes at it.
I’m sure there are pros to being in a relationship or being married (double income?), but here’s a few pros for the single life:
This movie called Life is all about you all the time
You don’t need to share the limelight with anyone else, but yourself. When you make a decision about your day, a haircut, the clothes you wear, adopting a fourth pet, buying a home, sleeping early, or staying out too late, you don’t have to check in with anyone, but yourself.
“Hello? Sherri? Yeah, this is Sherri. I’ll be staying out late tonight. Why? Because I feel like it”
End of story.
I’m not a spontaneous person, but it’s nice to have the option to hop on a flight to Las Vegas with your bestfriend for a long weekend of… whatever it is people do in Vegas these days. Did I mention you can adopt an animal without having to fear what your partner will think, because that “partner” doesn’t exist. You live alone with 6 cats and 3 dogs and it’s glorious.
What? You think that’s a bad thing? How is that bad?
Drinking Without Judgement
1 glass of wine, 1 bottle of wine. Who’s counting? Your dog? I don’t think so.
Ruling over the Remote Control
That’s right, I rule over all the remotes in my household all the time. Yes, even when I have guests come stay. I let them know who is boss in my house. I mean, usually I’m nice enough to let them watch what they want, but don’t piss me off. I can change the wifi password if I choose to.
I can watch a Hallmark movie or choose to not watch the Vikings lose every Sunday. It’s 100% up to me and only me.
Eating Whatever You Want
Sort of the same as drinking. You eat 1 cupcake or 6? Who’s counting? Maybe the dog, but it’s only because they want a cupcake too! You don’t have to consider what anyone else likes or dislikes. If you decide to get healthier you don’t have to worry about being distracted when your partner chooses to bring home the foods you crave.
You know what I’m talking about…
Guess what? You don’t have to explain to anyone why you decided to meditate or do yoga. Or start putting together puzzles. Or start a podcast with your bestie. Or decide to make blankets. Or clean out all your closets, because you are having an emotional breakdown and don’t know who you are anymore, but cleaning might help. You don’t have to explain it to anyone. You could explain it to a therapist if you choose to.
Time for Yourself
I feel like this is so important in life. We all need to time to get to know ourselves, know what we want or don’t want in life. You have time to experience the things you want to do without having to explain why. It’s the time spending on the couch or a long hike. It’s the getting away without feeling guilty.
The feeling of knowing I am an independent woman.
It doesn’t matter if you own a house or rent an apartment on your own – You have done what many women before us were not able to do. Be independent. Make choices. We get called “old maids” or “spinsters” if we don’t have someone else, but the reality is we are just bad ass bitches. We don’t need someone to take care of us. We don’t need to take care of anyone to feel validated in life.
If you find that special someone – good for you. Never change for them, don’t force them to change for you, be happy with where you are in life, in this moment, because our society changes every single day. If we can change it to normalize women being single, happy and independent we can make this country and world a better place.